Still lost...

Somehow I can't feel but a little sad. I doubt my attempts to contract my penpal would yield any results. I mean, it's been so long already... maybe he doesn't wanna keep in contact with me, or has some other personal reasons. Or he's already married and it would weird for him to write to me. Or maybe he'd think that I have some ulterior motive for writing to him, I dunno....

I just have this sinking feeling in my heart. I mean, I don't know for sure but I have no confidence in this. Crap, I don't even know whether I got the right person! Maybe I should write to every person with the same name on this island. Maybe I should stop fretting over this. Maybe I shouldn't have been such an idiot in the beginning. Sigh.

I know it's quite fruitless to worry over this, but I'm a little anxious and really wanna find him. Why? To know him better. It ended abruptly before we could really get to know one another and I am just curious to know this person better.

Sorry to bother you with all this rambling and whining.... I think I'm obsessing. ARGH!
Maybe one day, he would do a google and read all I've written. Maybe.....
Maybe I'd be gone the next day and at least, I have said all that I needed to say here.

Oh well.

Blame the dumb 14 year old me.